i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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