guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
