whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
