Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He felt like a one man threesome
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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