how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
