Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
