I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
