First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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