Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
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