My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
