So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude i'm inner monologue high
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
