i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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