Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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