a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
