This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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