I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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