A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
