It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
