I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
