want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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