my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
