I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize