do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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