he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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