brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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