you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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