Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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