somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Oh god it's open bar.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
