I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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