There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
