i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
