I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
