We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
