If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We had to coat check the pizza.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
