it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
