cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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