no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
soo... how was my night?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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