some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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