she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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