i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
