During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
