Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
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So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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