Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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