I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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