Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We left the knife in your bed.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
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I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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