So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
