Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
