maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
