Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
