you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
