Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
