Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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