How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
