i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
