We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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