Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
