I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
