it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
