So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
