i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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