nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
